ONE

 I feel as though I'm a peach, an apple or an orange. I lay there on my back. Legs spread apart, doctors above me wearing face masks and medical supplies were spread out on silver tables surrounding me "Just one more push! That's all we need, one more push!" It felt as though I've been in this position for hours. I wasn't aware of the time or who brought me here. All I can remember was that I was at a beach walking along the shoreline when suddenly I saw blood running downstream my legs and I soon fainted.

I awoke in an ambulance as paramedics hovered over me checking my vinyl signs. A paramedic had told me my baby was arriving early. Premature. He reassured me we would be at the hospital soon. I wasn't nearly prepared. Nobody tells you the emotions or anxiety or pain to be expected. Everyone's pain tolerance is different. I had hoped I would have a smooth easy birth and soon they would wrap my newborn in a warm blanket and hand him to me. I could look at him, kiss his forehead, smell that newborn smell. Supposedly newborns smell amazing. Or so, that's what I have been told. But this was my first. It was nothing what I had expected. My son was at risk, I paced myself for the worse to come. It was long crucial amounts of pain, sweat ran down my forehead and my eyes became so watery it became hard to see. The bright lights above me suddenly became blurry. I reached out for somebody's hand to squeeze. So firm, so tight. To reassure me, lie between their teeth and tell me everything is going to be okay I knew it wasn't but still I desperately wanted to hear those words. The doors suddenly flew open. "Is she here? Kaitlyn! Oh my god, I ran as fast as I could! It's okay I'm here now!" My loving husband Todd. Tan skin, brown eyes, his black hair was pushed back. The father of my newborn he had came to my aid just in time. He kissed my hand and held it close. "Shh, it's okay. Just breathe." I took a deep breath in, then another breath out. But I felt my body become weak. I felt exhausted, out of breath. Suddenly the bright lights above me began to fade. "I'm sorry" I whispered. My eyes began to roll back. "Wait! What's happening? Kaitlyn!"

Were the last words I heard before my world turned black. I awoke to a breathing mask pushed tightly against my nose and mouth. A heart monitor stood close to the hospital bed frame. Monitoring my every beat, following every rhythm. I awoke in a new room I didn't recognize. I scanned the room with my eyes. Todd was asleep on the cozy armchair placed next to the bed. His head and arms were on the surface on the bed, wrinkling the white soft sheets. Almost touching my hand. His eyes had bags under them, and they looked puffy as if he fell asleep crying. Possibly waiting for some type of response from me. I gently brushed my finger on the palm of his hand. He pulled back and rubbed his eyes. His eyes found their way to mine. He looked startled. "Oh, thank god!" He pulled me in close and ran his fingers through my hair. He kissed my forehead. "I'll go find us a doctor!" He kissed me goodbye before leaving the room. I stared out the window, the view wasn't anything special. Just trees and a parking lot filled with cars. Lots of people leaving and coming, a few clouds floating by in the sky but there was no sign of the sun. The autumn day seemed cloudy and cold. The kind of weather that makes you want to pour yourself a warm cup of urban tea and curl up on the sofa and play your favorite movie. Drew Barrymore was always my favorite actress growing up, I watched her movies for years. She had some pretty good ones. She was relatable at times but somehow, she always seemed to make me laugh. That was what I needed right now. A good laugh. I never liked hospitals everybody is always so serious, and families come together sometimes in the worse of ways. What about my family I wondered. My son. Is he okay? I waited anxiously, nervously picking at my nails, chewing on them tearing them apart, ruining the nice pedicure I once had before arriving here. From the corner of my eye, I saw a figure enter the room. I turned in that direction. There in a white lab coat stood a doctor. He had a mask on with a silver name tag right above his chest. Dr. Stevens in bold clear letters. He introduced himself. He was in his mid-forties, black thin hair cut nearly bald, his green eyes piercing back at me. He sat in the chair facing the bed and following him was my loving husband, Todd. Todd stood at the end of the bed. The doctor looked as if he wanted to tell me something. I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. All I could think about was my loving son who I haven't been able to see yet. "How many hours has it been since he's been delivered and why did I almost die during the birth process?" I asked Dr. Stevens. He took a deep breath. "There is no easy way to say this- "I cut him off before he spoke any further. "No!" I cried. "Let me finish." He continued. "This whole experience must have been very traumatic for you. I'm truly sorry but unfortunately, we are uncertain if you can have any more children due to the risk and dangerous harm that occurred during the birth process. We had our best doctors come in to bring you back to perfect health. We recommend you stay in this bed for a little longer just to get some more rest. Anymore stress can be extremely dangerous for your body right now. However, we do have some good news. Your son is healthy and is sleeping right now. We are still running some tests but after we are done and we can clear you, you can take your son home with you." I cried and hugged my husband so tight.

After years of trying and struggling to conceive. Miscarriage after miscarriage one had finally survived. I couldn't be more thankful. He was healthy too. I thank the heavens above and I kissed my husband. I laid back down and stared at the ceiling "Thank you" I whispered. I wasn't a big believer of God but today I was. I wanted this so bad, and the universe knew and granted me it. ONE child, My child. My son.
The doctor looked at us and smiled "Have you guys thought of a name?" I smiled and looked at my husband. "Yes! His name will be… "Part 2 arriving soon.